THE LAWYER AND HIS POSSESIONS

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had picked up the day before, was now completely ruined no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can not believe how materialistic you lawyers are,"the cop said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."  

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex!"

THE GENIE AND THE THREE FRIENDS

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a German were travelling in a boat from France to Australia. Unfortunately, the boat sank but the three men swam to a small island. There was nobody on the island and the men waited for two months. no boat came to rescue them. They were very unhappy. We will have to live here forever said the Englishman. We will have to eat bananas everyday said the German. We will never see our families again said the Frenchmen.

One day,while walking along the beach, they found a bottle. They opened the bottle and out came a genie. The genie said thank you for letting me out of the bottle . I was inside the bottle for last 1000 years! 

But now i am free and I will give you each one wish. 

The German said, "I want to be back in German at a soccer game. With a beer and sausage and singing songs in the stadium." Your wish is granted said the genie. The Frenchmen was back in Germany.

The Frenchmen said, "I want to be at the dinner table with my family in France, eating cheese, drinking wine." Your wish is granted said the genie. The Frenchmen was back in France.

The Englishman just looked at the genie. The genie said, "Hurry up! I want to enjoy my freedom after so many years." The Englishman thought for a moment and said, "I am rather lonely here. Can you bring back my two friends?'' Your wish is granted said the genie and the German and the Frenchman were back on the island.

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A FUNNY BIRTHDAY PRESENT

A woman needed to buy her mother a birthday present. She didn't know what to buy her mother. She only had one day to buy her mother something.

So she went out window shopping. Soon enough, she walked by a pet store window. She thought to herself, "What a lovely idea for a present! My mother is so lonely and she needs a pet."

The woman went into the store and saw many wonderful animals. Puppy dogs, fluffy cats, gold fish, cute mice. But the woman didn't think these were special enough. She asked the manager if he had a pet that was really special. The manager thought for a moment and replied. "Yes, but it costs a lot of money. $5,000"

"I have a parrot that can speak 7 languages, Chinese, English, French, Korean, German, Russian and even Hindi!"

The woman said, "Perfect" and bought the bird. She sent it by special delivery to her mother, so she would get it the next day.The next day after work, the woman called her mother, "How do you like your birthday present."

Her mother replied, "Thank you, IT'S DELICIOUS!"