A FUNNY BANK JOB STORY

It is a story about a man who was doing job in bank and shared his experiences about his job. Mr.Mark started his job in the bank and was afraid of his job, as the bank was in the city center and had a big client-age. When Mr. Mark started his job in a bank in the center of the city, he was afraid of many things. Either he was behind bulletproof glass , but still the alarm buttons reminded him about the thieves that some would come to the bank and rob him. In the bank there were secret security codes that were changed everyday for security purposes, and there was an automatic alarm that rang when the last money came out of Mr. Mark drawer.

One day in the morning Mr. Mark was watching the crowded bank and found one man suspiciously entering the bank. He walked by the tellers to come to his cabin. Mr. Mark thought about his bank experience as he was a fresher and did not know much about the banking and types of people that came in the bank. The man he was watching stepped further and put his hand in the pocket, and pulled out a note from his pocket, and put it under the teller window. Mr. Mark was very scared, dropped down under the counter of his own, and felt so scared that Mr. Mark hit the alarm button.In just few seconds all the security got alerted and guard came there where that man was standing in front of Mr. Mark, and security guards held the man. Then Mr. Mark read the note. In the note there was written , "Would you have lunch with me?" 

NEVER BE UNGREATFUL TO ANYBODY

It was a very hot summer day in the month of June. The Sun was shining at its fullest, and it was a very hot day. Two travellers were going on together along a very dusty road and found no trees along its sides, as they found no shelter they were feeling very hot. After travelling long distance they saw a big tree that was full of leaves and it's branches were spread like an umbrella, they rushed toward the tree to get shelter as it was a very hot day.  

After taking shelter they placed their belongings on the ground and sat in the cool thick shade of the tree so as to rest from the emerging heat of the Sun. After taking rest for an hour , one traveller said to the other , "What a useless tree it is! It bears no fruits at all."

Hearing this, the tree felt pinched and burst out, "You ungrateful people! On one hand, you are taking shelter under my cool shade from the burning heat of the sun which i am bearing on myself(tree) and on the other hand, you are calling me useless after taking rest under me. Tree said in anger to the travellers get up and leave this place immediately to be scorched again." And then you will know what i am capable of and what nature has provided to you which you don't understand at all.

MORAL : We should always be greatful for nature's blessing to us

STEVIE WONDER - A FUNNY STORY

One day, Stevie Wonder (the blind singer), came to Toronto to perform. He was taken to his hotel room. He decided to take a nap but didn't like the sheets, he wanted silk sheets. Rather than bother the hotel staff, he decided to go buy some himself.
He asked his personal manager if there was a store nearby where he could buy silk sheets. The manager replied, "Yes, there is a big departmental store. It is called, Canadian Tire. I can go buy you some."
Stevie Wonder didn't want to bother his manager.He said, "just take me there, I can get them. I want right kind."
So the manager took Stevie Wonder to the car and they drove to Canadian Tire. Upon arriving, Stevie Wonder got out of his car and his manager tried to help him. Stevie Wonder said, "Let me go alone, I can do it by myself."
Stevie Wonder went into the departmental store and went to the back. All the staff was looking at him, whispering and pointing. "Oh my god! It is Stevie Wonder!"
Stevie Wonder was feeling around things were crashing to the floor, everything was falling everywhere as he searched. The store manager went to his employees and said, "Someone quick, go help Mr. Wonder!"
A young teenager said, "I will". He went back to the store where Stevie Wonder was busy crashing things on the floor and searching blindly. The young clerk tapped Stevie Wonder on the shoulder and asked, "May I help you Mr. Wonder?"
Stevie Wonder turned around, shook his head and said,


                                                       "NO, I'M JUST LOOKING"

                                                                                                                                    Thanks
                                                                                                                            Maninder Singh  

GEOMETRICAL LETTER

Dear miss (triangle)

                    Yesterday I received a circular card from your son, parallelogram. How is aunt trapezium. You will be glad to know that my younger brother cylinder is getting married to Miss Quadrilateral : so you are cordially invited for the dinner on 9+2-5+5=11 of December 10+9=19, 1900-100+213=2013.

I hope you will come and bring along with you Parallelogram, Rhombus and Aunt. Trapezium and her children point, line and diameter. We have invited Hexagonal band. You must have heard of it Mr. Pentagon is our special guest. Don't forget to come. 

                                                     

YOURS LOVING

                                             RADIUS AND RECTANGLE

                                                             

                                                 

         

WORLD BIGGEST PROBLEM TERRORISM

A NIGHT, SILENT, COOL AND CALM. FULL OF BEAUTY , PEACE AND CHARM....
SUDDENLY SHATTERED BY BULLETS. 
A CRY FULL OF AGONY, A FEEL FULL OF PAIN , AN APPEAL FOR HELP.....
BUT, ALL IN VAIN!
A BULLET SHOT WITHOUT A CARE.
 A JET OF BLOOD SPROUT INTO THE AIR....
TWO DEAD, TWO INJURED.
A FATHER, A MOTHER, A BROTHER AND A SISTER. 
NOBODY DID BOTHER, NOT A SOUL DID CARE.
WHO KILLED THEM?
WHY, WHEN AND WHERE?
ARE ALL EFFORTS OF ARMY FAILING?
AND 1000 OTHERS ARE BEING KILLED WITH FEAR AND TERROR!
PEOPLE TALK ABOUT "PROGRESSIVE COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD".
BUT IS THIS PROGRESSIVE OR DEPRESSIVE ?
OUR COUNTRY IS DYING,
WE HAVE TO SAVE IT.
A PATH INTO THE FUTURE, WE HAVE TO PAVE IT.
WE MUST JOIN HANDS AND UNITE.
FOR WE CANT DO A THING.
IF WE FIGHT FOR THEM,
NO ONE, CAN SAVE OUR LAND.
FOR IT'S SAD FATE.
SO UNDERSTAND AND INCULCATE PEACE.
BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.....

KISS

                                         

                                                                             
                                                                          KISS

  ACCORDING TO THE SUBJECT

ARITHMETIC - Two divided by nothing.

GEOMETRY - Shortest distance between two straight lines.

PHYSICS - Contraction of mouth due to expansion of hearts.

CHEMISTRY - The reaction of interaction between two hearts.

ACCOUNTS - It is a debit because it is profitable when returned.

ECONOMICS - It is that thing in which demand is higher than supply.

STATISTICS - It is an event whose probability depends on vital statistics 36-24-36.

PHILOSOPHY - Kiss is a perpetuation for the ecstasy for  youth and homage for old.

THE SHOPKEEPER AND HIS FAMILY

Once there was a shopkeeper named Mr. Sam. He lived in Australia and had a small corner store for 40 years. He worked very hard, 15 hours every day and he never took a holiday. One day, his daughter arrived at the store and found Mr. Sam lying on the floor. He had a heart attack! She called 911 and he was rushed to the nearby hospital.

He survived and was very weak, resting in hospital. A day later he awoke and slowly looked around  his hospital room. He asked in a weak voice, "Are you there, my dear wife?" "Yes," she replied"I am here my dearest."

Mr. Sam asked, " Are you here, my oldest son?" " Yes, I am here." replied his oldest son.

"Are you here, my daughter?" Mr. Sam asked in faint voice. "Yes, father, I am here." the daughter replied with a tear in her eye. 

"Are you here, my youngest son?" asked Mr. Sam. " Yes , papa. I am here by your side." said the baby of the family.

Suddenly Mr. Sam eyes grew big and threw off the bed covers and jumped up, screaming,

                              "SO THEN, WHO IS WATCHING THE STORE!"

BENEFITS OF DRINKING WARM WATER IN THE MORNING

1) Aids Digestion : Lemon juice flushes out unwanted materials and toxins from the body. It's atomic composition is similar to saliva and the hydrochloric acid of digestive juices. It encourages the liver to produce bile which is an acid that is required for digestion. Lemons are also high in minerals and vitamins and help loosen ama, or toxins, in digestive tract. The digestive qualities of lemon juice help to relieve symptoms of indigestion, such as heartburn, belching and bloating. The American Cancer Society actually recommends offering warm lemon water to cancer sufferers to help stimulate bowel movements.

2) Cleanses Your System / is a Diuretic : Lemon juice helps flush out unwanted materials in part because lemons increase the rate of urination in the body. Therefore toxins are released at a faster rate which helps keep your urinary tract healthy. The citric acid in lemons helps maximize enzyme function, which stimulates the liver and aids in detoxification.

3) Boosts Your Immune System : Lemons are high in vitamin C, which is great for fighting colds. They're high in potassium, which stimulates brain and nerve function. Potassium also helps control blood pressure. Ascorbic acid (vitamin C) found in lemons demonstrates anti-inflammatory effects, and is used as complementary support for asthma and other respiratory symptoms plus it enhances iron absorption in the body; iron plays an important role in immune function. Lemons also contain saponins, which show antimicrobial properties that may help keep cold and flu at bay. Lemons also reduce the amount of phlegm produced by the body.   

A NOTE FROM A MOTHER

    

       

                      

         I gave birth to you but you came with no instructions. All I knew was that I loved you long                              before I saw you. I know I made some mistakes and for that I am sorry, but I was doing the best I  could with what I knew, everything I did for you, I did from love. You are my child, my life, my dreams for   tomorrow. I will always LOVE you and there is nothing that could ever destroy my love for you.  

SCHOOL TERMINOLOGY

                                                                 

BOOKS 

Sheets of paper bound together with printed matter inside but utilized more to hide comics.

                                            

  BUNKING                                                                                                       

 A vanishing act done by the humblings to attain freedom from tyranny   of teacher.

                                                          

CLASS - ROOM

A place overcrowded by students result more outside than inside.

                                                              

 EDUCATION

Innumerable books to be chewed eaten and swallowed and digested force ably for specific period of time.

                                                                       

 EXAMS

Sometimes attempted, sometimes done, but never 

 wanted.

                            

   

  FAILING

  A word very often used at the end of term for students who have   

   better things to do than to study. 

                                                                  

 GRAMMER

 One fool makes the rule and every fool minds it.

                                                                   

HOMEWORK

Assignment given to the children for whole year to show on parents day, to parents who have done it.