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Monday 7 October 2013

GEOMETRICAL LETTER

Dear miss (triangle)
                    Yesterday I received a circular card from your son, parallelogram. How is aunt trapezium. You will be glad to know that my younger brother cylinder is getting married to Miss Quadrilateral : so you are cordially invited for the dinner on 9+2-5+5=11 of December 10+9=19, 1900-100+213=2013.









I hope you will come and bring along with you Parallelogram, Rhombus and Aunt. Trapezium and her children point, line and diameter. We have invited Hexagonal band. You must have heard of it Mr. Pentagon is our special guest. Don't forget to come. 



                                                     
YOURS LOVING
                                             RADIUS AND RECTANGLE
                                                             

                                                 

         



WORLD BIGGEST PROBLEM TERRORISM

A NIGHT, SILENT, COOL AND CALM. FULL OF BEAUTY , PEACE AND CHARM....
SUDDENLY SHATTERED BY BULLETS. 
A CRY FULL OF AGONY, A FEEL FULL OF PAIN , AN APPEAL FOR HELP.....
BUT, ALL IN VAIN!
A BULLET SHOT WITHOUT A CARE.
 A JET OF BLOOD SPROUT INTO THE AIR....
TWO DEAD, TWO INJURED.
A FATHER, A MOTHER, A BROTHER AND A SISTER. 
NOBODY DID BOTHER, NOT A SOUL DID CARE.
WHO KILLED THEM?
WHY, WHEN AND WHERE?
ARE ALL EFFORTS OF ARMY FAILING?
AND 1000 OTHERS ARE BEING KILLED WITH FEAR AND TERROR!
PEOPLE TALK ABOUT "PROGRESSIVE COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD".
BUT IS THIS PROGRESSIVE OR DEPRESSIVE ?
OUR COUNTRY IS DYING,
WE HAVE TO SAVE IT.
A PATH INTO THE FUTURE, WE HAVE TO PAVE IT.
WE MUST JOIN HANDS AND UNITE.
FOR WE CANT DO A THING.
IF WE FIGHT FOR THEM,
NO ONE, CAN SAVE OUR LAND.
FOR IT'S SAD FATE.
SO UNDERSTAND AND INCULCATE PEACE.
BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.....


KISS

                                         

                                                                             
                                                                          KISS

  ACCORDING TO THE SUBJECT

ARITHMETIC - Two divided by nothing.

GEOMETRY - Shortest distance between two straight lines.

PHYSICS - Contraction of mouth due to expansion of hearts.

CHEMISTRY - The reaction of interaction between two hearts.

ACCOUNTS - It is a debit because it is profitable when returned.

ECONOMICS - It is that thing in which demand is higher than supply.

STATISTICS - It is an event whose probability depends on vital statistics 36-24-36.

PHILOSOPHY - Kiss is a perpetuation for the ecstasy for  youth and homage for old.


THE SHOPKEEPER AND HIS FAMILY



Once there was a shopkeeper named Mr. Sam. He lived in Australia and had a small corner store for 40 years. He worked very hard, 15 hours every day and he never took a holiday. One day, his daughter arrived at the store and found Mr. Sam lying on the floor. He had a heart attack! She called 911 and he was rushed to the nearby hospital.
He survived and was very weak, resting in hospital. A day later he awoke and slowly looked around  his hospital room. He asked in a weak voice, "Are you there, my dear wife?" "Yes," she replied"I am here my dearest."
Mr. Sam asked, " Are you here, my oldest son?" " Yes, I am here." replied his oldest son.
"Are you here, my daughter?" Mr. Sam asked in faint voice. "Yes, father, I am here." the daughter replied with a tear in her eye. 
"Are you here, my youngest son?" asked Mr. Sam. " Yes , papa. I am here by your side." said the baby of the family.
Suddenly Mr. Sam eyes grew big and threw off the bed covers and jumped up, screaming,

                              "SO THEN, WHO IS WATCHING THE STORE!"

Sunday 6 October 2013

BENEFITS OF DRINKING WARM WATER IN THE MORNING



1) Aids Digestion : Lemon juice flushes out unwanted materials and toxins from the body. It's atomic composition is similar to saliva and the hydrochloric acid of digestive juices. It encourages the liver to produce bile which is an acid that is required for digestion. Lemons are also high in minerals and vitamins and help loosen ama, or toxins, in digestive tract. The digestive qualities of lemon juice help to relieve symptoms of indigestion, such as heartburn, belching and bloating. The American Cancer Society actually recommends offering warm lemon water to cancer sufferers to help stimulate bowel movements.

2) Cleanses Your System / is a Diuretic : Lemon juice helps flush out unwanted materials in part because lemons increase the rate of urination in the body. Therefore toxins are released at a faster rate which helps keep your urinary tract healthy. The citric acid in lemons helps maximize enzyme function, which stimulates the liver and aids in detoxification.

3) Boosts Your Immune System : Lemons are high in vitamin C, which is great for fighting colds. They're high in potassium, which stimulates brain and nerve function. Potassium also helps control blood pressure. Ascorbic acid (vitamin C) found in lemons demonstrates anti-inflammatory effects, and is used as complementary support for asthma and other respiratory symptoms plus it enhances iron absorption in the body; iron plays an important role in immune function. Lemons also contain saponins, which show antimicrobial properties that may help keep cold and flu at bay. Lemons also reduce the amount of phlegm produced by the body.   

A NOTE FROM A MOTHER

    


       
                      

         I gave birth to you but you came with no instructions. All I knew was that I loved you long                              before I saw you. I know I made some mistakes and for that I am sorry, but I was doing the best I  could with what I knew, everything I did for you, I did from love. You are my child, my life, my dreams for   tomorrow. I will always LOVE you and there is nothing that could ever destroy my love for you.  

SCHOOL TERMINOLOGY

                                                                 
BOOKS 

Sheets of paper bound together with printed matter inside but utilized more to hide comics.



                                            


  BUNKING                                                                                                       
 A vanishing act done by the humblings to attain freedom from tyranny   of teacher.

                                                          



CLASS - ROOM

A place overcrowded by students result more outside than inside.

                                                              




 EDUCATION

Innumerable books to be chewed eaten and swallowed and digested force ably for specific period of time.

                                                                       







 EXAMS

Sometimes attempted, sometimes done, but never 
 wanted.



                            
   

  FAILING

  A word very often used at the end of term for students who have   
   better things to do than to study. 

                                                                  




 GRAMMER

 One fool makes the rule and every fool minds it.

                                                                   





HOMEWORK

Assignment given to the children for whole year to show on parents day, to parents who have done it.

FIFTEEN BENEFITS OF TOOTHPASTE

BEAUTY USES

Toothpaste contains many useful ingredients that can be soothing and healing to the skin. For this reason, you'll be able to use toothpaste to help you with the following issues:

1) Pimples - Reduce redness and the size of your pimples with a dab of toothpaste. Let it sit overnight, then rinse away in the morning for a noticeable difference.

2) Brittle fingernails - Since our nails are made of same enamel as teeth, toothpaste can do a lot to help them. Simply give your nails a good scrub with some toothpaste for cleaner, shinier, stronger nails. You'll also get that dirt out from underneath them in no time!

3) Fly-away hair - A gel toothpaste is largely made with the same ingredients as basic hair gels, so you'll be able to substitute easily here. Just use a little dab and apply like a hair gel when needed.

FIRST AID USES

Beyond beauty care, you'll also find helpful ways to use toothpaste in that first aid kit. Keep a small tube tucked inside your kit for these emergencies:

4) Bites, sores, and blisters - Apply toothpaste to areas of skin irritation to reduce itching, swelling, and irritation. Toothpaste will dry them up quickly and help them heal faster.

5) Burns - For minor burns with no open sores, a quick toothpaste application can give you instant relief. The cooling properties get work right away, relieving that painful sting. In long-term, toothpaste will keep the burn from becoming painful, oozing blister.

6) Bruises - For large bruises that take forever to fade, use a little toothpaste and a wide-tooth comb. Apply the toothpaste and gently comb bruise in one direction to break up the blood clotting beneath the skin. Toothpaste helps with circulation and fights off the inflammation.

FASHION USES

Our clothing and accessories can also benefit from many of the ingredients found in the average tube of toothpaste. Give these a try:

7)  Jewelry cleaner - Before you pay for someone else to clean it, rub toothpaste onto your silver jewelry an leave it overnight, then wipe it clean with a soft cloth. Give a light scrubbing to your diamonds to see them sparkle again, just be sure to rinse thoroughly. Avoid using toothpaste on pearls.

8)  Show care - Scuffed or dirty shoes look new again with a little toothpaste. Apple it directly to the dull, dirty, or scuffed parts of the shoe,scrub with a brush, and wipe them clean.

9) Clothing stains - Tough stains will disappear with a little toothpaste and some brisk scrubbing. Squeeze it right on the stain and rub until it disappears, then wash as normal. If using whitening toothpaste, be advised that this can have a bleaching effect on some colors and fabrics.

10) Computer cleaner - Scrub away fingerprints from your keyboard with a white, baking soda based toothpaste. Follow up damp cloth and your keys are good good as new!

11) Iron cleaner - Take away the "crustiest" from the bottom of your clothes iron with a quick toothpaste rinse. Just be sure to remove all the toothpaste before you start ironing again.

12) Baby bottles - To freshen up baby bottles and remove that sour-milk smell, put some toothpaste on your bottle scrubber and give them a quick wash. Always rinse them very well afterwards.

13) Piano keys - Like computer keys, piano keys get grubby with repeated use from the dirt, oil, and grime on our fingertips. Use a damp cloth and some toothpaste to rub down the keys, then wipe them clean with a dry cloth.

14) Crayon stains - Undo your kids damage to the walls with a damp cloth and some toothpaste. Rub it in gentle circles and watch the crayon fade away.

15) Odor removal - After cooking with "stinky" foods in the kitchen (fish, garlic, onions, etc.), getting the smell out of the skin is a challenge. Wash your hands thoroughly with water and toothpaste for a quick and easy remedy.





  

COMPETITION BETWEEN BROTHERS

Long ago there lived two brothers. JOHN and MAX. They lived on a farm and were very poor. JOHN worked hard every day. MAX was lazy and didn't like to work.

One day, JOHN heard of a \Kingdom far away. This Kingdom didn't have onions! hmmmmm, thought JOHN. If I could sell them onions, they'd pay a lot of money!

He asked to see the KING and was granted an audience. JOHN told the king about the onions and the King was curious. He invited JOHN to make a big feast with many dishes prepared with onions.

That evening, the KING and his guests tasted the dishes. Everyone agreed, the onion made everything taste too much better! The KING smiled from ear to ear. He said to JOHN, "These onions are the most precious things in my Kingdom. In return for them, I will give you their equal weight in the most precious thing I have - diamonds." JOHN was instantly rich and returned to his village with a wagon full of diamonds.

JOHN shared his wealth but his brother MAX was still very jealous. He asked JOHN if this kingdom has garlic. JOHN thought and said, "In fact, they don't have garlic." hmmmmm, thought MAX. If I could sell garlic, I'd be very rich indeed. Garlic is much tastier than onions.

MAX traveled to the Kingdom as his brother had done. Just like JOHN, he got an audience with KING and made a feast. And just like JOHN, the king declared garlic the most precious thing in his Kingdom. It was a big hit! The KING said, "I will give you their equal weight in the most precious thing in my Kingdom."

HERE YOU ARE - ONIONS !






Saturday 5 October 2013

THE LAWYER AND HIS POSSESIONS


A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had picked up the day before, was now completely ruined no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can not believe how materialistic you lawyers are,"the cop said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."  

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "My Rolex!"